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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Peeves, No, Not the Poltergeist

    

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     We all have them- things that bug the living day lights out of us. Things that are like nails on the chalkboard of our minds.  Pet Peeves.

Why do they call them Pet Peeves? There is nothing loving, or hug-able about them. Unless you have a snake with fangs; a spider with pincers or other un-hug-able pet, then maybe pets fit with peeves. So crazy to me that word.

      I have always had a hard time with people who can't spell.  You know, those people who are constantly asking, "how do you spell, such and such, or is this how you spell, blah, blah, blah?" Well, you get the idea. I mean, how hard is it to learn to spell well?  Yes, it just takes some effort. I think that people just don't want to put any time into studying, or practicing words that they stink at spelling because they either just don't care about the ignorance it shows, or they are lazy.

After I married my husband, (whom I had dated for 2 years,) the light bulb lite up with the realization that he did not know how to spell some of the greats: chimney, special, ultimatum.
How can such an intelligent man who was in college, not know how to spell the word- special? His problem was, he didn't care. Well, actually he did, but he had learned the wrong way to spell in elementary school. His teachers taught by phonics. No one I know has learned to spell well through phonics. Our American English doesn't allow for it. Phone is not fone. Special is not speshull. Get my drift? My husband over the years has worked hard to become a better speller. I love him for that.

     Another pet peeve of mine: People being unkind to each other.
A few weeks ago, I saw a couple walking out of a building where the boyfriend was yelling no, screaming, at the gal. She was clearly trying to shake it off with a "whatever," over and over again.

These two young people were engaged to be married. It broke my heart that they could talk to each other so ugly. How was their marriage going to work, if they were like that before marriage?  It was a warning sign to me of what was to come. I wanted to walk up to the girl, give her a hug, and tell her to go to counseling or to RUN.

Now, I wasn't there before they walked out of the building, I don't know what happened before they walked out, so the counseling sounds better to me. Only because this was all done around people who they knew and it was out in public, not a good thing.

Ugliness towards people requires not having any compassion for others. We treat people badly when we don't respect them.

How about those who judge people just by what they look like? How can we even gage a disrespect for people when we haven't even met them yet? 

I love the Facebook page, Humans of New York, or it's acronym HONY . It has taught me about the respect that we need to learn for all people.
Brandon Stanton, creator of HONY, took this picture. What the man said has resonated with me for a while:
"I’m learning to be more careful with my words. Words that seem meaningless at the time can end up having a lot of power. Seeds that you didn’t even intend to plant can fall off you and start growing in people."
 
I don't care who you are-- mean words always hurt.
 
      I always thought that when I had children that the little things that peeved me as a single woman would be smoothed over, not that I would still not get annoyed with them, but they would, I don't know, become more tolerable.

Yeah, right. If anything. Some things became even more pronounced: like little kids screaming to get their way. Mine learned quickly that it just didn't work with me. They would act up and I would automatically take them out of the situation. If we were at the grocery store we walked out the door. If we were at church we went and sat in a dark classroom. They learned not to do it.
 
Reprimanded?: The Co-Ed Call Girl actress appeared to be reading the riot act to her kids while in the dairy aisle of Ralphs
I think I would hate to be an actress . Nothing ever is the way it is in reality as depicted in the tabloids. The caption for this was "Reprimanded?: The Co-Ed Call Girl actress appeared to be reading the riot act to her kids while in the dairy aisle of Ralphs."  They also stated maybe she needed a Nanny. Seriously? Two kids needs a nanny? The woman is grocery shopping even though she is ridiculously rich! I say kuddos to Tori!
I guess that is my 3rd pet peeve- parents who don't teach their kids what the boundaries are. Or, maybe it's when the parents do teach them. but they do not follow through to reinforce what they have taught them. That is just so wishy washy. Not parenting, and kids showing they aren't parented drives me nutty. I give Tori Spelling (whatever her married last name is...) props. She seems to be telling her kids what for.

These are my top pet peeves and I could go on, but I choose not to. I am trying to let them go, and this is where it ends...