Monday, June 22, 2009

An email entry that really touched my heart and my musings on it!

I have had a really crappy few weeks and this entry from the Clever homemaker website really hit me. I know that I feel alot like things are just not in my control, that I need to act like someone to one person and someone else to another. Once Matt made the comment that I act totally different when I am around my childhood family (could be I am just being myself?) I never realized that I did this, but who knows maybe I do or I don't. I mean I do think sometimes that Matt acts totally different around his brother Keith then he normally does. This is not a smack at Matt because I know we all do this at some point in my life.

But what I have learned in the last few weeks has been about myself. I have learned that what is important in my life is MY family, my values, my ability to choose what is right and wrong and in the process of getting along with other people.

I mean, I am not the type of person who chooses one type of person over another to be friends with. I have noticed that in our new ward, we have clicks, those who others believe you shouldn't be friends with because they have things the others don't. It reminds me of High school and how you were either popular, a jock, a rocker or a preppy. the rest were just no-bodies. I myself hung around with populars, but wasn't popular- I guess you couldve called me a want-a-be! But because of my place in high school i have seen both sides of the coin so to say. I truly believe that I have a little bit of a soft spot for those whose lives are a little harder. BUT, I CHOOSE to get along with everyone! I am not clickish, I am not someone who because of her husband's job only hangs with those who are in that realm of higher power or so some of our ward members believe! I just choose to be me and once again get along with everybody!!! I Wish that life was really like the scriptures in that you should love one another (that means everyone folks!) but that is not how it is. I am stuck in the middle of two groups of people at church, one friend who is very judgemental (and gets her feelings hurt) of those who have and live different than she does and then friends who have and live different because they choose to do things their own way and not always the letter of the law in our Church or look at things different. I like both groups, I think they all have their goodness about them, but the one friend is trying to make it so that I don't want to be around the other groups and that is just not me, so I choose to live as the following entry says and choose to be my own self and be true to myself by being a friend with anyone that needs one!

Anyway, This entry really hit me and I thought I would share it with others.

Do you ever feel like you're just faking it?
You know, walking around in a grown-up body acting like you know what you're doing, when really you have no idea who you are inside.
We all play act. We don a suit, go to work and act like the other people atthe office.
We get married, have kids, buy a house and join the PTA, yet secretly wonderif the other grown-ups feel just as clueless as we do.
We frequently put so much energy into being who we think we should be thatwe forget who we actually are.
It's amazing how much of our identity is tied up in the roles that we play. We often assume that because our job title reads VP of Development, church secretary or head widget maker, that's the net sum of identify.
But talk to anyone who has lost their job, or their savings (or worse) and they'll tell you, you are not your job description. Nor are you your home, your bank account, or even your body.
Like it or not, the angst of our times is forcing us to do some serious soul searching, yet the person we often the most afraid of discovering is ourreal authentic self.
In his newest book, "Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Taken," author Mike Robbins writes, "We live in a culture that is starving for authenticity. Wewant our leaders, our co-workers, our family members, our friends, and everyone else we interact with to tell the truth and to be themselves."
But beyond wanting others to be authentic we also want permission to drop our own masks as well. Robbins ( says, "We want to havethe personal freedom and confidence to say, do and be who we really are,without worrying so much about how we appear to others and what they will think or say about us."
"Sadly, however," he writes, "even though we may say we want to live in away that is true to our deepest passions, beliefs and desire, most of usdon't."
Busted. (And you thought it was just you!)
How many of us can honestly say that we're living a life that is 100 percenttrue to our values? Much less the inner yearnings of our souls?
The sentiment, "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken" was originally penned by famous nineteenth century author and poet Oscar Wilde. But the words resonate in today's environment.
I would never minimize anyone's money woes, or other suffering, but perhapswith some of our outer trappings stripped away, we've been given the opportunity to discover who we are inside. The prospect is both scary andexciting. Robbins says that, "the paradox of authenticity is that we both seek it and fear it at the same time."
What if I reveal who I really am and nobody likes it?
But then again, what if Mike Robbins and Oscar Wilde are right? What if all the other roles are taken? What if there's nobody left to be but yourself?
It's a tough call, you can keep on faking it, which is even harder to ifyou're anxious and broke. Or you can decide that there really is only oneyou, and that you're already good enough, smart enough, and tough enough to handle whatever the Universe sends your way.
So just be you, it's cheaper, it's easier, and you don't even need acostume.
Be yourself, everyone else is already taken!